Dec 22

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Thankful for the Poopy Diapers

downloadShay Edward, at two months old.


When I found out I was pregnant for Shay, I was overwhelmed. We found out a few days before Zane’s first birthday. And I was done with two kids. D.O.N.E. I have two hands, two hips, two arms, two eyes. {Don’t tell the kids about the two eyes part.. I have them convinced I have hundreds.} I was quite content with two little boys. I had no intention of adding to my brood. But God did. He had other plans.


I remember standing in the rain, hugging my mom the night after we found out, sobbing. Not little, tiny, oh no tears… big, gulping sobs. How on earth would I do this?! I was so scared. Terrified. How would I parent three children – especially with the last two less than two years apart? Two of my other huge fears were for my pregnancy and early babyhood. My pregnancies with Jorryn and Zane were horrific. I had near constant morning sickness, especially with Zane. Not to mention the exhaustion. Then once they arrived, they were both colicy, and wanted to be held constantly. Zane ate every hour for weeks and weeks. I didn’t sleep hardly at all for the first four months after Zane’s birth. How on earth could I do that again? It was all so fresh in my mind.


But God had a plan.. doesn’t He always?


During my 19th week of pregnancy, we had our first ultrasound. The tech ushered us into a private room afterwards to meet with our doctor. They diagnosed Shay with echogenic bowel. Basically, they were seeing a blockage somewhere in his bowels that was leading to fluid being backed up inside his bowels. They scheduled us for another ultrasound at a genetic specialists office to find out more. This second ultrasound showed that there was also fluid in his intestines. In 70% of cases, there was no real cause and it was just a “fluke” that would work itself out before birth. But in some cases, it was the result of a genetic issue like Downs Syndrome. My brother has Downs. My parents never had genetic testing and just assumed it was due to their age at his birth. The genetic counselor we spoke to after the second ultrasound wanted to know if we wanted to do more invasive testing, which could cause miscarriage. They used scary words like “in-utero surgery” and “complications” and “death” and “would we consider terminating”? There was the possibility that I carried genetics that could be causing these issues in our baby. We decided not to pursue the testing because it was risky. Not for a minute did we consider ending the pregnancy.. but a lot of what if’s started floating through my head. I was already worried about caring for three kids.. what if there was something really wrong here? How would we cope? Our prayer network got started praying with us for complete healing for Shay. We had five ultrasounds to monitor his progress. On the fifth ultrasound, they called two additional techs into the room, including a supervisor, to review the information. They were stunned.. there was no fluid back up anywhere! We were soooo blessed and relieved. Praise God!


The end of my pregnancy continued on and we got ready for his birth. Shay arrived three weeks early, perfectly normal and healthy except for a quick bump in the road. He spent a week in the NICU because his lungs collapsed at delivery and he developed pneumonia. It was a week unlike any other. I was shown God’s grace, love, and faithfulness over and over and over. We had a fantastic doctor and spectacular nurses. Shay made a quick and complete recovery. We came home and settled into hectic life with three busy little boys.


There are so many times where I think “OH MY WORD!!! Not another minute of this can I handle!” Days when there is activity from well before dawn until well past dusk. And then I remember how blessed I am. God has shown me His never ending faithfulness. He brought us a sweet little boy that we never expected. A sweet little boy that is calm and mellow. A sweet little boy that I had an amazing, all natural birth with. A sweet little boy with big, brown, serious eyes. A sweet little boy that has completed my family. A sweet little boy that is completely opposite of his two older brothers — he is calm! He doesn’t scream for hours on end! He didn’t make me sick for 40 weeks! My pregnancy was much easier than the first two. His delivery was an incredible experience that I was able to share with two incredible doulas, my beautiful mom, and my supportive husband. So I think back to all my fears at the beginning of this year. And I realize how unfounded they all were. God had a plan – a beautiful plan that was part of a wild adventure and an amazing year.


So every time I get ready to change yet another poopy diaper, I am reminded of God’s faithfulness. Of His love for me. Of His awesome plans that we often don’t realize or fully appreciate until we look at them with hindsight. So I praise God with each poopy diaper – because it’s proof that God heals and protects – because Shay’s bowels work perfectly and God brought us through to the other side.



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